Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes is pretty much where I have eczema. So naturally I’ve become one with dermatology offices. I like to consider them 5-Star Resorts.
Ahh yes, these all inclusive Dermatology Resorts will have you coming back year after year. Why is that you ask? Well, lets take a look.
Reservations –
Dermatology is the new black and eczema is the new red! Seriously, dermatologists are the new ‘It Factor’. However, those of us that have skin conditions already know this, considering we’ve been going since day one. I can’t speak for all Dermatology Resorts but for the one I go to you need to book way in advance.
Travel agents, smavel agents, no need for that. I just give them a call myself. Once I call the receptionist answers and gives me the run down… of every appointment I didn’t necessarily want to hear. Then, after a game of “Lets Match Insurance Companies,” we play Sudoku. By Sudoku, I mean try and figure out which date will fit into the box or in our case the calendar. This part is always tricky.
Arrival –
Some people take planes and other travel by boat. Personally, I drive my good ol’ car because it’s the only option. Besides, there’s nothing better then sitting in heavy traffic. Where else can you catch up on your daily itch-a-thon?
When you go to Hawaii, they greet you with a beautiful lei. At Dermatology Resorts they send me on a scavenger hunt. This consists of finding a free parking space. They’re always so thoughtful.
Entering Paradise –
As I approach Dermatology Resorts, I reread the sign about five times to make sure I’m entering the right room. After all, this is Dermatology Resorts, a ‘hot spot’ and I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself.
I open the door and BAM! I see a beautiful oasis of people lounging around. Some reading books, some on their phones and some are staring off into space. I check in, then plop down on the chair and wait. And wait. And wait. Then, wait a little more. Finally, they announce my name as if I’d won the lottery and I’m whisked away.
Private Suites –
The assistant escorts me into a private suite. Lucky me, I get my own room. It’s filled with lots of medical goodies and an ice-cold blue reclining chair. We exchange a little bit of small talk and then they hand me a luxurious bathrobe…made of tissue paper. Well, I’m not exactly sure what it’s made out of but that’s what it feels like. Next, the assistant asks me a slew of questions about my health, getting to know every fiber of my body.
Once the assistant exit the room, I’m back to waiting. At this point, I now find myself playing Jeopardy. Cue the Jeopardy sound track in your head. “I’ll take – Reflecting Your Life Choices for $1000 Alex.” You know what I’m talking about! Whenever you’re on vacation or in this case at Dermatology Resorts, you always think about your life. Did I really need to eat three slices of pizza? Is the doctor going to be in a good mood? Should I leave my job? How do I become healthier?
Diagnosis –
Alas, the doctor enters the room and makes for causal conversation. Then, like a Nascar pit crew and within 60 seconds I’m done. The doctor checked me from head to toe and wrote a prescription. And just like that my stay at Dermatology Resorts has ended.
Departure –
Not only do they let you pay a wonder hefty little bill. They generously plan for your next visit, where you get to do it all over again.
Dermatology Resorts, skins #1 destination!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpbA8pWy-9w
*Dermatology Resorts is a made up place! It’s a funny take on the numerous times I’ve had to
visit the dermatology because of my eczema.