Insomniac Confessions

Insomniac Confessions

Sometimes I can’t sleep, these are my confessions…

// Brakes \\

First and foremost I would love to thank my brakes! While driving on a 50 mph road, a car decided it wanted to turn at the last minute. It’s safe to say they assumed I was telepathic. Therefore, no need for them to use their blinker! So thank you brakes for going out on a limb and swooping in to save me.

Hmmm, have they thought about a Siri for car horns? Sometimes the beeeeeeeeeep of the horn isn’t enough, I would love to display my 1st amendment rights on this one. “Siri, can you please tell that car they’re an a**hole for not using their blinker!” Or Siri could use sports terminology. Siri – “Personal foul, failure to use blinker, 5 minute car timeout.”   

// Holidays \\

I’m totally ok with swapping out some of the Federal Holidays for these two instead;

Fix the Roadways/Highways Day– Everyone has to clear the roads on this day or set block of time, to allow workers to fix the potholes, sinkholes, repaving, repairs etc. Driving as if you are on the set of a Super Mario game is not fun!

DMV Day – A refresher course for everyone with a license because people cannot drive! Sorry, but a lot of them can’t. This would include; PAYING ATTENTION WHEN YOU DRIVE, using your handy-dandy blinker :), understanding the accuracy of when to pull out onto a main road, mapping out your destination beforehand to avoid last minute sharp lane changes, not honking as soon as the light turns green, learning the dimensions of a parking spot, leaving enough room on both sides…I really could go on but I’ll stop there.

// Referees \\

Referees. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I’m actually pretty shocked that there is no reality tv show for people wanting to become referees. (cue reality show about being wanting to become referee in 3 2 1…) No but honesty, when you see videos like this (granted I know its a commercial)

It amazes me how they keep their calm composure and don’t explode. How much do they get paid to endure all that yelling, cursing etc.? Are they ever biased? How many of them are paid off? What causes one to become a referee? Do they go home and tell their spouses or gf/bf what the athletes say to one another? I’m genuinely curious. Would love to see a documentary about their lives.

// My Name \\

Lmao, what a fun week to be me! My first name represents cheating website for married and committed couples. My last name was in the news for the stock marking going down! #Winning!

// Birds \\

Where I’m from the birds fly south for the winter. I wonder how far south they fly? Florida south? Brazil south? Or are they going around the world? Do they encounter territory problems when they get there? Do other birds not receive them well, since aren’t locals? Are owls like the nighttime watchmen? Which species dominates the sky? Bats? Bald eagles? Black crows? What happens if one of them gets lost? Do they keep flying without that bird? How do they know which one will be the leader of the V formation they make? How do they know when to fly back?  – I realize I could look all this up and find the answer.. which I will probably do at some point but its nice to let my imagination run free.

// TV Show They Should Have \\

Besides one on referees, I would love to see a documentary style TV show that highlights new startups. I know we have Shark Tank but it would be nice to see existing companies in the hard work hustle phase.

Until next time…

A

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